We all have regrets. Every single one of us! Whether we want to admit it or not. Now, believe me, I’m not one to live with a ton of regrets, but I will admit to having at least ONE huge regret that I’m normally not willing to say out loud. Sense this is my personal blog and at this point I’m not willing to add anyone I know personally to this blog site, just yet, I want to express something that has been haunting me for years.
Most women want to be moms at some point in their lives, right? I know growing up that my dream was to be a mother and make a man a wonderful husband. Sadly, life NEVER goes to plan! Growing up wasn’t the best thing I have ever experienced in my life. At a very young age my mom and dad got a divorce, but it wasn’t too young for me to remember the horrible fights that they would have in front of me and my sister. The plan was that my dad would keep us for one full week and my mom the next. Pretty reasonable if you ask me. It worked great too, but of course little kids don’t pay attention to much and it’s pretty much easy sailing until your kid gets into their teens. At least that was the way it was for me. I lived two very different life styles. One week, while I stayed with my dad, I lived under very strict rules and was watched like a hawk. I guess you could say that I was sheltered. I had rules, chores, homework, and respect. This was expected and nothing else. With my mom was a completely different story though. She was the type of person who wanted to do her own thing without her kids in the way. By the time I was 16, the rules with her where more like, you need to leave for the week and just make sure you are back by the time it’s time to go to your dad’s. She didn’t care where my sister and I went. Even including our boyfriends house, who happened to live in the same neighborhood as we did. Pretty sad right??
Let’s fast forward a little. By the time I was 17 I had been seeing a boy that was the same age as me and had dropped our of school. He lived in the same neighborhood as my mom and when it was her week, every minute I was not working or in school was spent with him. Being young and dumb, of course I had lost my virginity to this boy and thought I was in love and going to spend my life with him. A year into our relationship my 16 year old sister got pregnant by his 15 year brother. Imagine my father at this point. That was the first time I had ever seen my father cry. Everything had changed. My mother pushed to have her get an abortion but my dad would not allow it. I believe his exact words where “You are NOT going to take the easy way out!” If we thought that things couldn’t get any worse. Literally 3 months after my sister found out she was going to have a baby, I found out that I was pregnant by my sister’s daughter’s father’s brother. Wow, boy is that a mouth full!! LOL.
I had never been so scared in my life. I thought my life was over. Being a mother was always something that i wanted to be but not at that age, and for sure not right after my sister had to break my dad’s heart. I had to woman up and tell my parents that i was also expecting a baby of my own and that i was also going to be keeping my baby. I’m sure what you are thinking of me right now. Damn, these girls are nothing but hoes. Keep in mind, i was a teenager and had a mother who taught me it was okay to have this type of relationship at this age. For awhile I was so happy and excited. Him and I where planning to get married and spend our lives together. That was all until I had a conversation with my mom and aunt one day, without my dad knowing, who had talked me into having an abortion. Okay, tears are starting to roll. Sorry.
One night after work I stopped and talked to my boyfriend about having an abortion and we decided that we where just too young and maybe abortion was just the right thing. I had an appointment to have it done a few days later. That day will never leave my mind. My mom took my to my appointment, and my boyfriend let me go by myself. I cried the whole time. Knowing that i made the wrong decision. That feeling will never go away.
So why am I writing about this? I want to spread the word to any young mothers out there, not knowing what to do with this tough decision to know their options!! Abortion is not the answer and it will be something that you will ALWAYS regret. I’m now 26 years old and have been with my fiancé for 5 years. We have been trying to have a baby for over 2 years now and my believe is that God punished me for killing an innocent life. There are so many other things you can do. Please please please please, use condoms, take birth control, or better yet don’t have sex until you know that you are ready for the chance to happen that you could have a baby!! Now if it does happen, adoption is such a better option, and it doesn’t have to be to complete stranger. Maybe someone in your family will raise your baby for you so that way they are always close to your heart. Or have an open adoption! Anything but abortion!! You have resources out there for you!! And please, if you want to tell me your story or ask for advice, come to me, talk to me! I will listen and give you any advice that i can!! I hope that this was helpful to someone out there!! It’s Your Sex Life