How are you really suppose to know if the decision you are making is the right one? Especially when the decision you are about to make will have a major impact on your own brother. Those are the shoes I’ve recently been in.
My brother is 11 years older then me and I’ve always looked up to him. Ever sense I was little, I can remember always wanting to be around him and longing for his love and approval. He was the “cool” brother, always letting me do things I shouldn’t have been doing according to my parents. For instance, my brother gave me my first beer, got me drunk for the first time, let me smoke weed with him, and then when I was old enough to have boyfriends, he would allow them to spend the night with me at his house so my parents would never find out. We where very close and I love him to death. That’s why when I finally started seeing things that I knew crossed a line and just where not right, it became really tough to make the right decisions and do the right things.
I personally don’t have any kids, but my brother has 2 handsome boys and 1 beautiful girl, and to be honest I really do love them as if they where my own. Their mom left when they where little because of my brother and when she did leave I stepped in and helped him raise them for a short time. At the time when he was with the kid’s mom I didn’t really understand what was going on. Sometimes I would stay the night at their house and they would drink and fight. Now when I say fight, I mean FIGHT! To this day I can still hear the screams and the crying coming from his ex. All the times I would see her with a black eye or bruises all over her body. One time she had a broken arm, at the time I was given a story to what had happened, but now I find out that it was my own brother that broke her arm. One day I was babysitting the kids and giving them baths. I went into the dresser drawer in my brother’s room and found a spoon and needle. This was years ago and I must have only been a sophomore in high school. My dad made sure I never knew about those kind of things, I guess you could say that I was a tad sheltered, so I had no idea what I had found at the time. Things continued to get worse and worse, it finally got to the point that the kid’s mom feared for her life and she had no choice but to leave. Having nothing to her name, she was not able to take the kids with her. My brother painted a really bad picture of her in court and he gained full custody of the kids. As they grew up he brain washed them to hate their mom and think she was an awful person. In the past 3 years I was able to track her down and reunite with her. Finally, I was able to hear the truth about what really had happened between my brother and her. Everything that I thought was really going on had all along been true!
The kids continued to grow up and have no started to realize that some of the things that their father does is just not right. They have been literally trained to never say what happens behind closed doors, but going back to when I said that I love them like they are my own, they happen to feel the same way with me and all 3 of them have a very close bond with me. They tell me everything. I started seeing my brother drink day in and day out, and the strange thing was that I noticed that he would never go to sleep. Come to find out that not only was he drinking non-stop that he was also a coke addict. So bad that it got to the point where he lost his job. There he is, with no job, drinking non-stop, doing drugs, and suppose to be supporting and raising 3 kids and take care of his fiance. The kids finally got tired of everything they where going through in their own home and the stories started to spill out.
My oldest nephew would tell me how he felt like he would get it the worst. He is not my brother’s son biologically, his mom is gone, and he has never once met his real father. My brother would work him like a slave, never allow him to go out places, gave the other kids things but never him. The youngest is my niece, he would never give her any attention unless she was doing something wrong and needed to be punished. The middle boy is his pride and joy. He gets whatever he wants when he wants. By far is he my brother’s favorite. This in it self is sickening for me. I wanted to do something for these kids for so long, and now that I have heard all these stories I was going to do something for them, but my mom begged me not to do anything and that she would fix everything. So, I gave her the chance to fix it and for a little while it was okay. Little did I know that it wasn’t going to last.
The recent actions where my breaking point. His fiance became very sick and ended up in the hospital. Doctors say that she could possible lose her life. When I showed up at the hospital I was told that my brother had just left because he was so drunk that he was causing a scene. To my knowledge, I thought he was sober. Come to find out that he had been drunk for literally a week straight. On his way out of the hospital he got into a fist fight with her son in the elevator and then continued into his truck and drove home. Keep in mind that he has been drunk for a week straight. When he arrived home he thought that he needed to go pick up his youngest daughter from school, which he didn’t because she was at softball practice, and drove to her school looking for her. He drove all around the school yelling at random little girls to get into the truck because he thought they they where his daughter. Parents became very worried and called the cops, but before they could arrive he wrecked his truck just down the street from the school. While the cops where there giving my brother a DUI test my sister shows up to see if they are taking him to jail. The cop asked my brother if he knew where he was and he said he didn’t even remember what he was doing. The whole time he was speaking with this cop he was calling him names and being very disrespectful. He didn’t even end up in jail!! I know you are probably thinking, what the hell do you mean he didn’t get arrested, right? Well the cops that showed up where just the school cops and they had to wait for our local police department to show up to arrest him. After waiting for half an hour they asked my younger sister if they could release him to her. She agreed. My sister drove him home where my mom and oldest nephew where already at. When he showed up he became very hostile with my nephew for no reason at all. He took his cell phone and threw it right at his forehead. He then dragged my nephew into his room and said that he was going to kill him. My mom and sister and to pry the door open to get my nephew out of the room. They then fled from my brother’s house. My sister called me after all of this and told me what happened. I made the decision to call the cops on my brother for hurting my nephew. This was enough and something needed to be done. When our local police department came to question my sister and nephew they told my sister that because they didn’t see the incident that they would not arrest him but would file charge for domestic violence and child abuse. I was so angry! How can an adult male do this to a 17 year old boy and not have anything done about it. The kids stayed with my sister for awhile and shockingly 2 of them asked me to get in contact with their mother because they wanted to live with her now. So, I did as they requested. Their mom came into town right away and spent time with them for the first time in 10 years. The youngest and the middle kids where so happy. My oldest nephew didn’t want any part of it and is so brain washed that he would rather put up with his dad. So it brings me now to the hard part…
Their mom filed for emergency custody of the 2 younger kids. The kids wrote statements about what was going on in the house and signed them for their mom to take to court. She also called child protective services on my brother and all 3 of the kids where interviewed. The oldest lied to the investigator about what was going on and the 2 younger kids told the truth. My brother was ordered to stop drinking completely and he would be checked up on. The day of the court hearing my sister and I went with the kids mom to speak on her behalf and go against my brother. The judged was able to see through all of my brother’s lies and even found out that he was still drinking. She ordered the kids be taken away from him awhile and be placed with a family member. She also gave 50% custody of the kids back to their mom after not having any custody for 10 years. Monday-Friday they are to stay with a family member and then the weekends my brother and their mom will take turns having them. Because of all of this happening my brother now hates me and wants nothing to do with me. Which, is okay with me because in my heart I know what I did was right by calling the cops and getting their mom involved. What really is killing me is right after the kids got taken away from him my oldest nephew, who was allowed to stay with my brother because he is almost 18, made it clear to me that he no longer wanted anything to do with me and that I should have just let the 3 of them deal with what was going on in the house and they would have ended up OK. It’s so heartbreaking knowing that my own brother has brain washed my babies to think that this is an okay way to live and that I am the bad person in this situation. He has also instructed the 2 younger kids to longer speak to me, but because they have their own phones they secretly still talk to me. They told me they would never allow their dad to take me out of their lives and they are happy for everything I did to help them. They made it clear to me that they are so happy being able to now be with their mom and not having to worry about what is going to happen with their dad each day. I know what I did was right, but I can’t help to feel like I tore my family up even more. I miss being able to see the kids whenever I want and I hate that my oldest nephew hates me. My heart hurts.
I guess I’m writing this because I’m looking for some sort of input. Any opinions you may have about how i should feel, or maybe what I should do now at this point. Just anything what so ever. I reaching out right now. Please. Someone share their thoughts and feelings about this, I really really need the input!