My Mom Was A Victim Of Domestic Violence 2 Days Ago!

I created this blog site with the title “This Crazy Thing Called My Life”, and let me tell you, it is a never ending journey! This post is going to be about something that happened just on July 3rd. My mind just keeps running and thinking and thinking. I really don’t know what to think or do anymore. So, maybe someone out there can lend me some advice.

This year for the first time my fiance and I decided to go out of town and experience the 4th of July in Silverton, Colorado. Silverton is one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen in my life. We went with a bunch of friends and camped at Molas Lake. I’ve never had such a fun time. All of us camped out there for 3 days and where going to leave the day after the 4th of July. The day of the 4th of July we all made the trip into Silverton because they have a firework show that is known throughout the country. We started setting up our spot in town to cook and play games and wait for the fireworks to start. While we where getting everything setup I got an unexpected phone call from my mom, which isn’t normal because she knew I was on vacation and didn’t have good cell phone service. So of course, I answered the call and it was my mom and I could hear her crying. She was trying to play it off like she was just checking on me to see if I was having fun, but i could hear the tears in her voice. It scared me because I never hear her cry only when there is something really wrong. I asked her “Mom, what is wrong with you?” she wouldn’t answer me. All she would do is change the subject so I asked again “Mom, what is wrong!” Finally she told me, “Bob hit me!” (Bob is my stepdad) I said “What do you mean he hit you!!” She went onto tell me that he had some beers and they where spending time at my sister’s house, and he decided that he wanted to go home. He went on to ask my mom, “Are you going to go home with me?” she told him “No, i’m going to spend some more time with the kids and Abel” (Abel is my brother-in-law). He got very mad and went off on her. “You are my wife and you should be going home with me! You are nothing but a whore and a slut!” He was basically accusing my mom of wanting to be with my 26 year old brother-in-law. How disgusting, right? After awhile she decided to go home but told me she had a really bad feeling about going home. She told her neighbor, “If I bang on the wall really hard then send Abel to my house right away.”

When she got home she started going at it with her. He started yelling at her and calling her really bad names. She was on the bed and he went and grabbed her by her hair and started pulling her around. She started fighting back to protect herself. He got even more mad when she did that and clinched his fist and as hard as he could punched her straight in the eye. He hit her so hard that it swelled her eye shut. She banged on the wall and the neighbor got my brother-in-law to run over to her apartment. Abel ran into the apartment and as soon as he did my mom got up and ran out. Abel and my step dad exchanged words. Thank god that while this was happening there was cops present in the complex for a different reason. Her neighbor was able to run over to the cops and get them to come to her aide. He was placed under arrest right away. My mom did go to the doctor and thankfully she had no broken bones in her face but instead just was badly bruised.

Now here is here the part that really pisses me off. I get back home from my vacation, still worried sick for my mom, and wanted to check up on her right away. Very first thing I do though is check to see if my step dad is still in custody. I get on the website to check the status on him, come to find out that he had been bonded out!! So, I called my sister just now and ask her “Did mom bail out Bob?” she tells me “Yup, she sure did!” Can you imagine the thoughts going through my head? Not to mention, my mom worked for the state, she worked for an organization called The Commission on The Status Of Battered Women. That was before the governor of my state decided to close it down. How could a women who worked for such a powerful organization go through the same thing the women she was helping are going through and not do what is right and put the man that did this to her away?

After speaking with my sister I was really angry. I decided to call my mom and ask her what the hell she was thinking. I literally just hung up the phone with her by the way.  So, she starts the conversation and I ask her, “Mom, what are you thinking? Why would you put up the money to get him out of jail after what he just did to you?” her reply ” He was drinking and it was so out of character. He is my husband and has never once did anything like this to me. When I married him we took vows before God and I will not sin by getting a divorce for something he did because he was under the influence and has never done before!” What do you say to that? I explained to her the explain she is setting to her grand kids and how bad it looks on her. She goes on to tell me that she is going to tell him that she wants to attend AA meetings, as well as marriage counseling, and to have him get involved in some anger management classes. I can’t make her do anything or live her life in any certain way. It hurts my heart so bad to see my mom hurt in so many ways by the actions of one person! But, what do I do? What do you even say? I’m having a really hard time wrapping my head around all of this. Maybe it’s because it is all so fresh sense it only happened 2 days ago. I guess i’m just looking for other people’s thoughts on the matter. I’m her daughter and my heart is broken for her. Is there anyone who can lend me their advice on what someone in my position should do or think? I really am not sure how to handle this, or if I should even be attempting to handle this. Do I even bother with caring about any of this or just let it go and pretend like nothing happened and continue to be in my mom’s life like everything is okay? I could really use some help right now.



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